Oh hey, a rant on how I’m misogynistic and ignorant, and how I have male privilege just blowing out of my ass.
I’m misogynistic; because I’m a man and I won’t just cater to what people tell me women want me to say or do. Because I feel like men and women should be equal, rather than one group being put up on a “DON’T TREAT ME LIKE THIS” pedestal that no one can touch. Because I’m honest and I tell people how I feel, even if it conflicts with what they think of themselves or their cause.
I’ve been told that despite all my efforts to constantly better myself and be the best person I can be, the fact that I don’t cater to women who might feel a certain way makes me a sexist, ignorant person. It doesn’t matter how I treat individual women in my life - catering to women as an entire group is the only thing that matters.
Not even considering all the morals and values my grandmother instilled in me from a young age, before she passed. How important she was to me and how I strive every day of my life to live in a way that would make that saint of a woman proud. To treat others in a way that would make her happy. To act in a similar way that she did, and give as much as she did right up to the day she passed, through debilitating sickness and all.
It’s been said that, as a man, I am a threat to all women just for naturally having the ability to rape or assault a woman, and that is my male privilege. Yet the same perspective has said in regard to other issues that just because someone has the ability to do something or other people of the same group could do it too does not make it that persons privilege, which was a widely accepted point to be made. But it doesn’t pertain to men on a far more massive scale?
These double standards aren’t acceptable, and have no space in a world where everyone is looking for equality and peace. Not only is it not male privilege, but the notion in of itself mostly calls out as a radical movement. I acknowledge that as a man, in many respects, I have more rights than women. But do I take advantage of that? Do I relish in it? Do I point it out to everyone, just so everyone knows about it? No, because it’s not something I rejoice in. Yet without fail, any time some sort of feminist argument shows up, it is assumed that I do. That I’m an ignorant pig with privilege blowing out my ass.
I agree with equality, but that’s not the way to do it. Demonizing for the sake of them being a part of that group, or because of what some members of that group have done and what more of them could possibly do is exactly what has happened throughout history. Blacks. Irish. Asians. Most recently, Muslims. Throughout history we’ve had people afraid of what other people do, and when they can pin that offense on a certain group they’ll do it every chance they can. It’s a problem bred of fear, and it has consistently caused catastrophe over the years. Entire families gunned down for being suspected terrorists, only to be shown they had done nothing wrong. Back throughout history, black men consistently put on trial for crimes they didn’t do, but were found guilty for simply because white men said they did it. Judgement carried out outside of the law, where an assumed guilty person of color was attacked, only to later find out it wasn’t them. The same can be true of any other group.
Assumed guilt. Assumed threat. Assumed intent. Assumed ignorance. Assumptions assumptions assumptions. All I can see here is people not liking what some people say or do, and trying to pin it on something. Thin privilege. Male privilege. Female privilege. Straight privilege. White privilege. What about employment privilege, for people who have a well established career and aren’t having money problems? Should these people feel bad for people on the other side who aren’t doing as well? Sure. Do a lot of them? Yes. Should they automatically be forced to fall in line with those who are unemployed and give in to what those people want? No, that would be ridiculous, but someone on the other side does have the option to give and help other people at their discretion.
Is there a big breast privilege too? Blue eyes privilege? Long hair privilege? It seems that peoples preferences and points of view are what are being turned into privilege points, so why not? If it offends someone, it’s someone else’s privilege. There’s no such thing as real equality, only every group at each others throats because they’re all offended by something. If you’re offended, good for you, be offended. Are you offended because someone outright attacked you, called you derogatory terms and was blatantly out to get you? If the answer is yes, then you have a right to be offended, and a right to act on it. If the answer is no, then maybe you should try to cool your jets and look at the whole situation. Not everyone is out to get you.
Swinging back around to male privilege and what I was told about my place in that one, another point was made in that regard - “Women are molested and assaulted 3 times more than men are, so women need to be 3 times more afraid of men.” If we could take a minute to think about that for a second… That’s a perpetuation of fear. That is stating that this group could possibly do something, so you need to be afraid of them or it will happen to you! That’s propaganda, similar to the kind of World War II that caused countless Asian families to jump off of cliffs with their children and families because of the fear of American Devils coming to rape and kill them.
Does everyone understand what it means to perpetuate fear? With that sort of logic, we are literally telling people they need to be afraid, more afraid than they may have been before. Fear is not a good thing to have in these situations. Fear is a weapon used by the strong to control the weak. Fear makes you weakened when you act on it, and that sort of ideology begs for action upon fear. Fear makes you vulnerable. If you’re arguing that innocent people need to be afraid of all other people, when most of the population wouldn’t do anything to harm them, that doesn’t make the problem go away. That makes victims more obvious to pick out to those who are looking for it. If you’re acting on your emotional response to be afraid, it leads to being paranoid. If you’re showing that you’re paranoid, people can usually tell pretty easily what it’s about, and anyone could use that to their advantage to ultimately accomplish what you’re fearing.
Being attacked in the way you’re afraid of because you’re afraid of being attacked that way. Everyones worst fear, right? Acting on fear like that makes it easy to pick you out of a crowd and makes that a very real possibility…
What are the alternatives? Well, you could deal with your fears. If you’re so afraid that any given person in public is going to assault you or rape you, right out in the open, then you have some paranoid fears that need to be worked out, not blanketed over by yelling at everyone that’s not doing anything wrong to cater to you because you’re uncomfortable.
You could talk to someone that’s bothering you or making you uncomfortable about what they’re doing to make you feel that way. Be courageous, like one woman who confronted me at a bus stop because I looked similar to the man that assaulted her. My reaction? To sit down with her, miss the next bus, and help her feel more at ease by seeing me.
Oh, but I’m such a monster.
Her problem with me wasn’t even that she was afraid I would be the same, she in fact had no delusions to that regard, she could see I was harmless to her. It was more for the fact that I reminded her of those things, which is something completely out of my control. Did she try and make me change my appearance, because it reminded her of those things? No. Did she just stay away from me and brood from a distance over it? No, she nutted up and got my attention to talk to me about it. I can’t imagine the courage it took for that to happen, I don’t even know how long she was trying to get my attention for, all I know is that she had the right idea about this sort of thing. You don’t become some destroyed weak timid thing if something like that happens to you, or even if you’re just afraid of it happening. You press forward, you stay strong, and you stand up to whatever gets to you.
Not only is it woefully inaccurate to label all men as a threat to all women, but it’s horribly offensive. As I stated earlier, I was raised with very good ideals from my grandmother on how to treat people equally and fairly. I work, personally, to better myself every day, intellectually, physically, emotionally, etc. but none of that means anything because some women might think there could maybe be some chance of me possibly wanting to assault them? And it makes me ignorant to think anything otherwise?
The road to equality - REAL equality - is not paved with the thought that every group is equal. It’s paved with the acknowledgement that every group is unequal, but they’re all also both right and wrong in equal shares. The world has a long way to go before we reach that point, because every “rights” movement these days is all about “My side is right, and all other points of view are ignorant because you can’t see things the way I see them!” Rather than pushing for equal ground, people are pushing to do whatever they want, because it’s what they want, and they have the right to have whatever they want.
Isn’t that the exact same mentality that we chastise little kids and teenagers for, since they have a lot to learn about the world and how things work? The whole “You’re not the boss of me!” or “I want what I want and I want it now!” mentality is that of a spoiled immature brat, and something I’ve had to deal with in more adults than I’d like to think about. How about “I may not get everything I want, but I get this, and this, and that’s nice too.”
At times things aren’t fair, and honestly that is most of the time. Some times, yeah, it’s unfair because someone made it that way, and it does need some change. But other times it’s just life, and we have to live with that. You’re uncomfortable because a stranger is talking to you? The world isn’t going to cater to that, so you can either sit there being uncomfortable, or deal with the problem so you can function in normal social situations.
It’s not a hard concept to drop the issues that don’t matter and move on with your life - move on to more important problems. Whether or not you get under my skin to make me feel bad for being a man won’t change the problems you think are there. Making people senselessly fear another group of people won’t make the people who cause those problems any less powerful or any few in numbers. Making every problem in the world between people boil down to another persons “privilege” won’t make those things not happen. All it does is give you a group of like-minded people that you can turn to with your problems who will agree with you, rather than making your views known to a melting pot of different perspectives so that you can have a more open view on the subject.
We’re all going to have ideologies that we all hold onto for dear life throughout our lives. Perspectives that we think are right, but are horribly wrong. Decisions that we think are the best for us at the time, but could actually hurt us in the long run. Viewpoints that we think are bulletproof, but really have a lot of holes in them and could possibly be wrong. Accepting that possibility is how we learn, and learning from those things is how we grow into better people.
But no - I have a different perspective of the same issue as most people amongst the feminists and male privilege bloggers, so that makes me a misogynistic, sexist, ignorant pig. Even though I would die before I allowed myself to physically or mentally harm any woman, and constantly work to help anyone in my life, man or woman. It legitimately pains me to know that all the things I work for mean nothing to people who won’t let go of a specific mindset.
Just remember everyone; being offended is subjective. You can’t please one group without upsetting another, so why does everyone try so hard to cater to specific groups rather than trying to actually solve the problems they have? Rather than beating a warped perspective into peoples skulls, we should be working on the actual problems, whether it’s the fear people have of these things, or the actual problems that they’re talking about. That’s the only way we’ll see progress in this life.